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Stand Up And Believe!

Stand Up And Believe!: Current Issue, Issue 22, Volume 1, for Tuesday, December 14, 2010. New Issue published every Tuesday, and updated throughout the week. Next issue due online December 21, 2010.

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INITIALIZING

ISSUE INTRODUCTION BY EDITOR AND PUBLISHER C. A. PASSINAULT

You have to stand for something. Everyone does, too, regardless of it being a result of a conscious effort or not. For most, supporting everything, and trying too hard to be nice and politically correct to everyone, is, ultimately, standing for nothing.
It’s obvious that I have an agenda. It began in 1978, when I wrote my first story. That same year, I won talent contests for my singing in elementary school (and was beat up for it afterwards). My first story? A story about a bad man, a villain. That character was inspired by my sorry-excuse for a principle, a pseudo-nazi, in my opinion. Indeed, during one class, I sat down and wrote my story in a notebook while I was supposed to be doing schoolwork. A visiting superintendent for the public school strolled by my desk while I was writing, and asked what I was doing. I told him about my story, and what it was about.
I’m surprised that I wasn’t kicked out of school. Despite me being gifted, the principle suggested to my parents that they lock me in a room somewhere and leave me to die.
He was probably still mad about the time that I was in detention in his office and I put thumbtacks on his chair. And yes, he sat down on them. They drew blood.
He beat me, yet I did not break. He could not break me.
Even then, however, I was able to figure out who the bad people were. So young, yet so insightful. Not that a grown man getting into fights with a little kid was difficult to figure out when evaluating his character.
My agenda continued in 1983, when my friends and I would spend weekends roller skating at a skating rink in Brandon. I was inspired to write my first novel, which I finished, but, in retrospect, it was more like a long story. My friends and I would also spend time playing video games, going to arcades, and doing other things. Although just a kid, yes, I stood for something.
And, of course, my agenda continued in 1988, when, fresh out of high school, I began to find out who I was and what I was meant to do. I threw my first party, which included a film festival with some movies. Those parties continued well into 1989, as did my constant writing, and in 1990, one of my stories was finally published. That story, City Scene, was about underground street racing, over a decade before The Fast and the Furious.
Also in 1990, while in college, some friends and I founded a fraternity and a sorority, the Alpha Beta Delta fraternity and the Alpha Gamma Delta sorority (the sorority name changing to Alpha Omega Delta in 1995). I was vice president, and the parties continued. Actually, 1990 was a lot of fun. The parties were awesome, and I had a lot of friends in college. I don’t think that I had a single enemy back then.
Starting in 1989, just before college, I started tinkering with arranging music tracks and making tapes. By 1990, that took on a life of its own. On October 6, 1990, I began my DJ career as DJ Wiz Kid, cutting my first cassette program release. Within a few weeks, I was a popular underground DJ with a strong following, infusing my love of good music with a lot to express. In that year, I finally figured out who I was, and what I was meant to do with my life. My life would be art and entertainment, and although I sill had years of learning to do, and experience to gain, I was well on my way. The path, however, would not be smooth.
In October 1991, one of my DJ releases, my 18th release, ticked some people off, and gave them an excuse to crash one of my parties.
On November 2, 1990, that promotional party, which was in Apollo Beach, titled “Sex On The Beach”, ended in a riot. I ended up calling the police on my own party. Fortunately, no one was hurt.
One of the causes of the riot was my best friend and I getting involved with a girl who was married. It was not the best decision that I ever made, even though he was the one who was actually involved with her, but I did care about her, so we were involved in some dysfunctional triangle. After the party riot, we ended up living together for a few months, and it ended after he became insanely jealous. They left, and they left me with nothing.
1992 was the worst year of my life. Early in that year, while living with my best friend and the girl, someone told me the worst thing that anyone has ever told me. The told me that I had no purpose. My friends, hearing this, said nothing to defend me. It was obvious that I did not belong in the situation.
Of course, my reign as DJ Wiz Kid came to an end around this time. Short on money, and with my life disintegrating around me, it ended when the girl and I got into a fight, and she destroyed what little equipment that I had by pouring toothpaste into it and my tapes. Fortunately, my master tapes for my releases were spared.
In March, 1993, my friends left, and they took most of what I had left. I had literally lost everything.
I’m not going to go into a lot of details here about what happened in most of 1992, especially since I think that I already did in an earlier issue of Frontier Pop, but suffice it to say, it was the worst year of my life. I was determined, however, and I survived. By the end of that summer, I had my life back.
In 1993, I returned to college at another college, made more friends, and began building a small studio in Tampa with professional DJ equipment. I also took courses in television production, theater, writing, and other entertainment related subjects. I wrote two stage plays that year, and some actresses taught me how to cast as I conducted auditions for my plays. In February 1993, I began preparing for my return to DJ’ing, and decided to change my DJ name to DJ Frontier. By late 1993, I was back on track with my DJ’ing, and my was doing experiments in new studio as I prepared to continue with underground DJ releases of much higher quality.
Also, during the summer of 1993, I was reunited with my two friends, and we attempted to continue our friendship. (To be continued)

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READER REACTION

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C. A. Passinault - Posted 12/14/10: 0801

It really needed to be said. I believe in what I am doing! Not only that, I know what I am doing! My most vocal critics don't know what in the hell they are talking about because they have no clue about what I do. If you must share criticism and your opinions with, or about, me, at least be familiar with your subject matter; the opinions of the willfully ignorant do not concern me. I may not be well loved because of my reviews and my criticisms, but it can't be said that I don't get into the subject matter and learn it before I rip into it. You have to know something before you can form a valid opinion about it. The points that I bring up in my reviews are all good, valid points, and people need to realize that. I don’t do what I do from the motivation of hate, but because I have a deep passion for the subject matter at hand, and a deep passion for everything that I do.
We all need to realize that we all eventually die, and your life is only as rich as what you do with it. I could care less about being popular and well-liked, as I’ve already been there, and it is a false economy. When I am finally laid to rest, I expect to be completely alone, and could really care less about how many people show up to my funeral to “mourn” (funerals are more for the living, anyway, as they console each other over their “loss”). Do you think that my friends and family will be there? I don’t think so. No matter how many people are in our lives, no matter how loving and dedicated our spouses are, and no matter how successful we become in the eyes of the common man, we all die alone. We ALL die alone. Do you think that it will matter in the least bit when that day comes, and you lived your life they way everyone else does and the way that you were supposed to? Don’t waste your life. Make a difference!
In the early 1990's, I had two of the best friends anyone could ask for. One of them was a beautiful, talented girl whom I loved with all of my heart. Well, despite our pledge to be together for the rest of our lives, it did not last, and let’s not even go into the hell, and the disappointment, that was 1992. I lost my best friend over the girl. The girl, on the other hand, was swept away by others, allowing them to change her until that girl whom I loved finally died. She made a mockery of true love, and was lost to me. She is dead to me. With that, a part of me died, as well. Well, partially, as I made what made her special, and what made her an individual, a part of me. She will be a part of me forever.
Although I did not let them down, they did let me down. My eyes were then opened to what a false economy that putting your faith in the wrong people was.
In the late 1990's, I became more machine than human, and was very much more career and work orientated than socially orientated from that point on. My life was transformed, in some ways, for the better, and in others, for the worse. There was a transition, as well as a trade off.
I have a purpose. I have the power to change things. What I have done, what I do now, and what I will do will define just not my life, but the future of many.
And regarding those who think that I take too long to do things, consider that it takes a while to set up the appropriate support infrastructure for what is to come. I reflect back, and if I could do it all over again, I’d do it all the same way again. I am on the right path, and I feel this with every part of my heart and soul. There are some things that you just know, as well as feel.
Starting in 2011, people are going to freak out about what I do with my life. I don’t think that they will quite understand it, as some of what I do will make me unique in the fact that I will be the only one in the world doing what I’m doing. I do expect, however, smart people to get it, and I expect that, eventually, much of what I do will be emulated by others, although never equaled, or surpassed. I will be the original, the innovator, and the leader.
I will not stop. I will not fail. I am what I do, and I believe in what I do. Those who fail to at least try to understand, and respect, what I do will not be a part of life. I will surround myself with people who comprehend and support my agendas. If you don’t support me, I will not support you, and this will lead to regret for some others as some have a change of heart when they see my success, and they reap what they have sown by being left on the outside looking in.
I will live forever through my art, through my writing, through my photography, and through the changes that I introduce into industries and society. This will be my legacy.